Manuka honey and fairies

Believing in the power of holistic medicine requires a strong conviction, however, once you commit yourself to this faith, you can harness a power that moderately compares to real medicine. It is comparable with believing in fairies…best case scenario you imagine yourself to be part of a otherworldly family; worst case you try to fly and fall (hopefully not very far).

I fell victim to a flu, as comes with the changing of seasons and two-day benders. Although I am armed with a cornucopia of drugs to battle regular ‘ole influenza, I always have the urge to cope the natural  way. I tell myself that my body is a magical well of healing power that can be utilized with some mild nurturing . Aside from the usual comrades, Vitamin C, Echinacea, and Zinc being top of the list, the desire to seek out the latest hidden gem of the holistic world becomes fierce. Surely health stores aren’t offering these powdered twigs for no reason! Once ingested, they will get to work ridding my body of its virus and cleaning out my liver and kidneys at the same time!

*A note on this understanding of body cleaning-I really don’t believe that if you have a relatively healthy system and lifestyle, you have more or less toxins than anyone else of the same caliber. Health nuts want you to believe in this constant fight against the evil toxins that are trying to kill you, but trust your excretory system to do what it does best, excrete!


Manuka honey was first brought to my attention by a yoga teacher who claimed that when blended with warm (not hot!) water and drank like a tea it killed all the bad bugs that caused my sore throat. Honey has been used medicinally for centuries because it does contain some antiseptic qualities when applied topically . There has not been one scientific study to date that eating or drinking it is related to battling any illness, or promoting general internal health. Manuka honey, however, has not lost out on the amazing PR work it cashed in on. I would say that its profit has probably increased exponentially as more people are joining the church of au naturale. 

Manuka honey has two amazing profit-making advantages on other health products: 1) To be considered real manuka honey it needs to be from New Zealand, thus adding to the exclusivity of something you thought you could get at your corner shop. And 2) Its potency is rated on a two different, yet equally confusing, grading scales that have something to do with active ingredients, industry standards, and antibacterial strength.  This is not just any old honey…

honey face

In a hasty purchase while trying to catch a bus, I bought a tub of moderately potent Manuka Honey. This was not my first tub, but I was shocked once again at the price tag. The costs ranged from €22 to €78, and based on what I read online, the cheaper ones are completely ineffective and useless, except maybe poured over yogurt. I opted for one in the €30 price range and walked out feeling like I had just slapped myself in the face with a scam. I spend the bus ride going over the ways that this tub would heal me, how delicious it would taste, and committed myself to believing that it would deliver me from evil forever more amen. At least, until next flu season.

I definitely outdid the prescribed dosage. I milled this stuff into me. I just kept the kettle on a rolling boil and swigged cup after cup, and when I couldn’t drink anymore, I sucked slowly on spoons dipped into the sticky substance. Pardon my alliteration there. Long and boring story short, I felt better after about two days. Not cured, not 100% myself, but better. The typical recovery time for a flu is 5-7 days, so I fancied myself a super among humans. While I do not credit Manuka Honey with my quick recovery, I do believe in the power of the mind toward attaining almost anything-bodily, mental, and metaphysical. Believing in anything beyond a shadow of a doubt is a terrifying and dangerous thing, but if subscribing entirely to the Manuka Honey bible can bring some solace in times of dismay, then why the f*** not. Unlike most religions, the only consequence here is in my smaller bank balance. Keep in mind, my undying faith to the tub of sticky stuff caused me to rest more, eat healthy and stay meters away from bars and smoking areas. So, yes, all of those things definitely contributed to the recovery, but they all stemmed from a faith in this overpriced honey. Going back to Tinker-bell…If we all held our breaths a little when wandering through forests and looking inside moss-covered crevices, then the world might be a slightly better place.